The “Cramps of Life” woke me out of my sleep at 6 am.
Oh, the joys of being a woman!
I won’t complain, nor will i have it any other way.
I turned on my tv bcus there was no way i was going back to sleep & the movie “Dark Girls” was playing on Starz (Encore Black).
I remember when i was forced to watch this movie in undergrad for a social humanities class.. by the way i had the teach from hell who was extremely light but hated lighter skin women and men .. idk what her problem was but this isn’t about her. It’s about the movie.
I started thinking to myself “is this still a thing” .. “are people still caught on skin color” ..?? I’ve never been.
I’ve always associated myself as being a dark skinned woman, never have i ever wanted to be light skinned.
Before i got to college i use to look at light skinned women as being confused & missing culture. I’d see a lot of beautiful dark women, mixed, and so on.. but when i looked at a light skinned women i would think to myself “do they even know who they are”? I always got the insecure vibe from them.. always.
Like, they were told they were beautiful only bcus of their color, but they lacked personality to me.
They tried harder to do things that dark skinned women would do, but then again dark skinned women would do the same & I’d be like.. what is going on with y’all!!
I’m brown skinned, I’m very aware.
Sometimes i get lighter & sometimes i get darker.
I remember in high school when it got cold I’d get a brown pale shade..like, my skin would look so flushed & i hated it. When the summer rolled around I’d stay in the sun to exercise so I’d get 3 shades darker, but i got 1 shade darker & 2 shades redder. I’ll take it.
Being dark felt Superior to me, being lighter was the complete opposite. I had a cousin when every year they went on vacation, she’d get 5 shades darker.. it didn’t look ugly, just weird bcus you could tell that wasn’t her natural color, she’s brown skinned as well. After see that for a couple of summers i stopped trying to get darker, lol i didn’t wanna look weird (says my 16 year old self).
Family members would of course make jokes about the color changes, saying “don’t get to dark” or when we’d get dark they’d start making jokes we’d all laugh at. We’re a family of comedians so things rarely would offend. I’d let things go through one ear and out the other, sometimes i still do.. i have to. Now when i hear someone make a comment about skin or hair i interrupt with a self esteem statement. Those comments are not cool or necessary, but it was a different generation back then & i can’t reteach what’s embedded in the minds of some, so i preach the sermon of “now that we know better.. let’s do better”.
To wrap this up, my self esteem has never been tied into being a light skinned woman, i knew i was beautiful regardless. It’s never been in gender roles either. I’ve never met a boy, guy, man.. that i felt was bigger or better than me. Being a woman is the BEST THING EVERRRR but that’s a different topic for a different day.
So plz plz plz!! If you’re caught up in colorism, don’t be. It’s easier said than done, but then again.. sometimes it’s not. Everyday look at yourself, the real you. Talk, play, feed, & feel. Explore colors that look great with your skin tone rather you’re light, dark, or in between. Dark skin beauties put on that bright yellow or orange! Light skinned beauties match those pinks & reds together, it’s okay. The generation has completely changed.. we have a open Nazi as the President of the US.. baby girl, no one is gonna care what color you are or what color you have on. We have bigger fish to fry!