2018 has been & will remain all about Me.

With the year i had in 2017, i told myself I’d never put myself in situations like that again. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t alllll bad

I discovered some pretty cool things about myself & made some everlasting bonds

I became closer with friends, & is now able to let them into parts of myself I’ve always tried to hide

I learned how to let loose & let go. Let my heart go free, & let go of what my heart decided it no longer needed

I learned more about my body, what it likes & rejects. Sexually. At the beginning of 2017 i told myself i wanted to explore my body & let it take me into places i wanted to go, but was always hesitant

I mastered the art of self love (that one was a biggie) I taught myself how to become my authentic self & to not care about what others thought or had to say

Spiritually, i was growing.

My business was doing good & i was getting the attention i wanted & needed for my brand & business, but deep down my emotions were everywhere.

Internally, i grew.

Externally, i was glowing.

But i lacked self discipline & control.

I was leaving good jobs & not being able to grasp or manage my finances

I was depressed, most days i wouldn’t even leave my house.

Now.. i have a grip. A tight one.

Right, no wrong. I’m extremely protective over myself.

I let go of the many ties i had with good & bad people.

I moved out of the place that molded me & back to the place where it all began.

Some of the things i needed to heal could only be found where it started, home.

Now.. when i first got back, i immediately had to devise a plan to GET OUT

I’d been on my own since i graduated high school, & that was in 2009

The year was now 2018 and i was back where in the small town where i didn’t fit in

It was like a detox

The only thing that kept me from being angry every minute of the day was the fact that i knew this was a journey i had to take

To cleanse myself, i needed this detox

So i sat in my solitude, while surrounding myself with family. That’s what i needed

No hard liquor, no gunja.. only my thoughts & my feelings

All of a sudden, I stated to feel enlightened

I was able to feel and see more clearly.

I tried to get to these things with drugs, alcohol, and sex

Those things only made it more difficult for me to see

Now i have a plan & a promise.

I promised myself that I’ll always take care of myself. That’ll I’ll never, ever, count me out or take a backseat to anyone or anything, that I’m just as good if not better than any of my competitors.

That: Anything you can do I can do better

I can do anything better than you

No, you can’t

Yes, I can

No, you can’t

Yes, I can

No, you can’t

Yes, I can! Yes, I can!

HA! i had to put that in there lmao

“Anything you can do” by Irving Berlin

But my point is, life tried to break me, but it didn’t. It couldn’t.

My hard part is over.

It’s only up from here.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s